Hanging out in Hue and third time lucky in Hoi An.

The overnight train ride to Hue was fairly uneventful. We decided to go for the more expensive Livitrains, which is supposed to be a more luxurious carriage on the train, similar to what we had experienced in Sri Lanka - WRONG! Luckily we shared our four birth cabin, with a couple of very quiet New Zealanders - they didn't speak one word to each other for the whole journey - not that Richie or I heard anyway. 
I slept like a dead person!

The romance of train travel

The skanky train guards tried to sell us an empty four berth cabin, which they kept under lock and key for the ridiculous sum of $100 USD - we     
 politely declined. 

Just as well I got off the train, they might have embalmed me!

However, they eventually managed to snag a couple of live ones, (read mugs) as we saw a couple, with very large back packs moving into the empty cabin. 

They also didn't bother serving any food or drink - as they are supposed to and when asked why replied "oh sorry I was asleep!!".  I expect they were flogging the food and drinks off to someone on the side, as well. Didn't matter though - we'd come prepared - but I wouldn't bother to pay top price for Livitrains first class again - might as well just go on normal Reunification Express - it's exactly the same and they DO serve food! 

Hue by night from our hotel

So arrived in very hot Hue, a little sleepy and a bit dehydrated and checked into the Moonlight Hotel. Very nice Hotel - in fact it was so nice, we decided to stay a few extra days. It was right smack bang in the middle of EVERYTHING, so very little walking was needed to explore - just as well, as it was really warm.  

Bridges over the River Hue, view from our hotel room

Hue is a bit of a hidden gem. It's a very pretty town built around a lot of waterways. We'd been to Hue before and revisited the local market, as we had some good memories of eating there. We took the obligatory river boat ride - it was hot, noisy and a bit boring - but it's what you do. 

Messing about on the river

Awwwwww

We did catch up with a friends' business partner - Little Lan. She took us to meet her family and visit the cathedral where her dad is a security guard. She'd just escaped the convent by the skin of her teeth, as her Mum planned for one of her 8 children to get her a free pass into catholic heaven, but Little Lan, foiled her and got married instead! Or maybe they just couldn't find a 'habit' small enough and set her free!

Richie and Little Lan at the family Lan cafe

But mostly we just ate and drank far too much (nothing new there then). We discovered another new Indian restaurant (trip advisors fault) and proceeded to stuff ourselves stoopid!

Indian meal number five hundred

We had decided this time around, we weren't going to visit The Old Town to see the pagodas, citadel or ancient ruins that Hue is famous for. It's our travels and we'll do what we bloody well want to!

We caught a mini bus from Hue to Hoi An - thinking it might be more interesting. Bit of a mistake - the van was built for people with 12" legs and of course they jammed it full. Still, we got to Hoi An in one piece.

Journey from Hue to Hoi An 

We are staying at the Essence Hotel & Spa in Hoi An. It's another lovely boutique hotel except we don't have a balcony - ohh more first world problems! 

It's full of European holiday makers, tanning themselves, within an inch of their life (balcony owning, bastards!). Even though it's pretty up-market, or maybe because it's upmarket, the staff all seem to be a bit scared of making a mistake or doing the wrong thing and so there is very little interaction between the guests. After the extremely friendly staff in Hanoi and Hue, it's a bit of a let down. We love a bit of luxury just like the next man, but would rather have a relaxed chilled out atmosphere, any day. 

Chatting with fellow travellers and locals is what we enjoy and Hoi An has moved on from being that kind of laid back place! It's our third visit to Hoi An and I must say, whilst it's still very charming, I'm really glad we came here 13 years ago. It's a bit of a carnival now - still nice but not what it once was!

Hoi An - lanterns

Food is still fabulous though - still the same old favourites white rose dumplings etc., but there are no people in the old town that aren't involved in tourism anymore. Except for one old lady, we spied sitting out the front of her house - literally just watching the hoards of tourists go by. She must have been the last person in town not to give it up to tourism! I wanted to shake her hand and ask her to sell me a cold drink!

Nothing for sale here........move along

Our hotel is just under a kilometre into town - to close to catch a taxi - so fortunately we are getting a bit of exercise between meals! Thinking of another curry tonight....I had my first AFD in weeks yesterday - might have another one today.....

AFD? not on my watch

Day 3 AFD  - might have to have a cheeky red tonight. We still haven't done the curry route again. Instead we decided to do our own food stall tour and very successful it was - the food was fabulous! We ate just by the river on very, very small stools again - had crispy rice pancakes, cao lau (pork and fat noodles) and BBQ pork in rice paper. We finished it off with some mango cakes (think - sweet, unhairy scrotum stuffed with coconut) and some Vietnamese donuts.

Richie had a moment on the Ajayi street food tour. At our second stall visit - we choose a bigger seat, but the food vendor said it was reserved for a group of 7???!!! and ushered us onto a couple of very dinky stools at a very rickerty table. 

Ajayi's street food tour - at the posh table

Then the 'chef' tripped over the electric cord and the food staff nearly collapsed, and at that moment the group of 7 appeared and chose the next door stall. Our crisply rice pancakes were delivered and came with rice paper and herbs. We wanted an extra plate to roll our pancakes, when Richie asked for it - the very annoyed food vendor, waved him away very dismissively. 'WELL' said Richard indignantly 
"if you don't give us an extra plate, we're not paying!!". I had to remind him, we were sitting in the gutter and paying a grand 0.75cents for our meal! 

Coconut scrotums - yum!

We spent the rest of the evening sitting opposite a lantern stall and watched every second person take a photo or a selfie - we'd done the same when we arrived - but now it seems a bit passé. 

Middle of the road selfie with stick....

We enjoyed our short stay in Hoi An but don't think we'll be back anytime soon - it's just too unreal now.

Banki Moon bun

So off to the delights of Nha Trang - or little Moscow as it's un-affectionately known. We're back on the train instead of flying or a private car - but decided to go with Reunification Express and on a day trip this time, it's good fun and we're in no hurry so why not - we wanted two lower births but had to settle for an upper and a lower.